Hi,
Welcome back to Continue Watching! There is so much new TV releasing every day that we have taken to sending panicked messages to each other every time a new trailer comes out. How are we supposed to watch everything? How are we supposed to write about everything? There’s only one answer — we can’t.
At some point, we used to feel this way about books. How can we read ALL the books in the world before we die? Shahana might still feel this way but Kashika does not identify as a reader anymore, having read less than 10 books since the pandemic started. Do you think we’ll become chill like this about TV one day? Will we watch a new trailer of something that vaguely interests us and not write it down on our Notes app?
To that end, here are three new trailers that recently rocked our world.
#1 is season two of The Flight Attendant, a show we unexpectedly loved last year.
#2 is the trailer of this insane-looking show called Candy (which, thankfully, Kashika has no plans of watching since it’s old-timey).
#3 is Heartstopper, a British show that is threatening to fill us with joy.
Also, Grace and Frankie, a show we have watched every single episode of but cannot remember a single plot point from, seems to be ending. We’ll… miss it?
You know one of the ways we can save our time is to watch television a little more discerningly. But what’s the fun in that? So we spent all of last week watching the messiest reality show of all time (more so than Love Is Blind), called The Ultimatum. Six couples come on the show after one partner has given the other an ultimatum — either marry me or I’m breaking up with you. On the show, they SWAP partners to see if they can find what they want in someone else. If that sounds like cheating, that’s because it is! We have a lot of feelings about this show, so Shahana has reviewed it because she always does the Lord’s work.
Before we can take you on this ride, here’s what we’re watching right now.
CURRENTLY WATCHING
Kashika
Business Proposal: A pretty standard K-drama about the fake dating/contract dating trope that is the only thing that’s made me laugh and smile in the last one week. Everyone is beautiful and everyone is in love. The perfect warm and fuzzy watch. Streaming on Netflix.
That’s it. That’s all I’m currently watching.
—
Shahana
Derry Girls: Derry Girls is back and amazing, as always. It’s the last season, so I’m kinda sad. If you don’t know about Derry Girls, just trust me and watch it. Season 1 and 2 streaming on Netflix, season 3 not streaming anywhere yet.
Principles of Pleasure: A three-part docuseries about women’s sexual pleasure. Pretty self-explanatory. My only criticism of this show is that it seems directed at women, but should be mandatory viewing for men. Of course it will lead to better sex for women if we know our own bodies, and figure out what turns us on—but I’m going to be honest, the thing keeping both women and men from having great sex is often, men. The orgasm gap exists because it’s easier and simpler for men to have one,and not just because women don’t know their bodies, but neither do men! A woman’s sexual pleasure can’t be her responsibility alone. Men, please watch and learn. Learn to receive pleasure from giving pleasure. It will be a win-win situation for us all. I’ve watched a LOT of television in my life, and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve heard a man say “This is only fun for me if it’s fun for you,” or an equivalent to his sexual partner. And yes, there’s plenty of content around men and their sexual pleasure, but I do think that there isn’t much space for men to explore what gives them pleasure. Sex, love and goop (yeah, I know, I’m still surprised) did that really well, forcing men to really confront and sit with the fact that their knowledge of their partners’ sexual desires was definitely lacking, but so was their understanding of their own. Streaming on Netflix.
Honourary mention:
Old Enough: Old Enough has a simple premise. A Japanese reality show that’s been on air for decades, it features toddlers running errands by themselves. The kids are sometimes as young as two, the episodes are anywhere between seven to 15 minutes, and while it sounds like an odd premise, it’s addictive. Of course, the errands don’t always go as planned and the kids forget what they were sent to do, or drop the things they were asked to get, or refuse to go. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop watching. Streaming on Netflix.
We hope you have a calm week where you watch TV only for entertainment and not as a coping mechanism.
Continue Watching (and reading!),
Kashika and Shahana
A NOTE FROM KASHIKA
When Shahana and I started this newsletter, we made only one rule — no newsletter will go out without both of our writing in it. After 26 issues and almost two years, I’m breaking that rule today. I wanted to write an essay on how reality shows like The Ultimatum and Love Is Blind are almost shoving the idea of marriage and kids down our throats, making it seem like if women aren’t married and dying to have kids by 25, there’s something wrong with them. But I do not have the energy or time to do so. I have had a deeply chaotic and exhausting last couple of weeks and I am barely holding on. Shahana’s writing, of course, is so good that you won’t even miss mine, but I’m feeling terribly guilty about this, so I wanted to explain because my body can only hold one emotion in it right now, and that’s exhaustion.
Thank you for reading and watching with us!
Everyone Involved In ‘The Ultimatum’ Needs To Go To Jail
by Shahana
[Spoilers ahead]
“Psychologists agree that an ultimatum is not a good way to get somebody else to do what you want.”
That’s how host Nick Lachey opens The Ultimatum: Marry Or Move On, so one would assume this is not a show that will make sense. And well, it doesn’t.
The Ultimatum is meant to be a successor to its bonkers parent, Love is Blind, where you get to know someone while you’re in two separate pods, unable to see each other, get engaged based on this connection, and then get married at the end of the show. Yes, it’s a ridiculous premise but supremely entertaining. The Ultimatum decides to really double down on the ridiculousness by throwing logic completely out of the window. It features six couples, who all have one thing in common—one has given the other an ultimatum to propose marriage or break up. The partners who aren’t interested or keen on marriage all have their own reasons; one doesn’t want kids while their partner is desperate for them, one isn’t sure if their partner is “the one,” one wants to live together to see how they do before they make it legal. What The Ultimatum asks them to do is pretend to break up, then enter a three-week trial marriage with another participant on the show. They meet their pretend partners’ friends and families, talk about children, marriage, finances, as if they were actually planning a life together. Then, everyone gets back with their previous partner, and does another three-week trial marriage. At the end of the show, couples decide whether they want to “marry or move on.”
No, it does not make sense. The very fact that this show was greenlit, and then casting agents went out and were able to find people to participate in it, suggests that we build a fire, take everything we believe in about the world being a fair and good place to live in, place it in the fire, and let it all burn. Because, despite knowing that this is a terrible thing to be watching, I watched every single episode. We’ll dissect why I love reality television some other time, but for now, let’s talk about the people giving me all this entertainment.
Meet the participants:
Alexis, 25, gives the ultimatum to Hunter, 28. Hunter wants to try living together, but she wants marriage. They’ve been together for two years.
Shanique, 24, gives the ultimatum to Randall, 26. She says she’s ready for marriage and kids, he isn’t and wants to wait to be more financially stable. They’ve been together for two-and-a-half years.
April, 23, gives the ultimatum to Jake, 26. She has fertility issues, and wants to be married and have kids yesterday. He just got out of the army, wants to be financially stable, and just enjoy dating. They’ve been together for two years.
Rae, 24, gives the ultimatum to Zay, 25. She’s ready to be committed to him, but he’s concerned their relationship isn’t ready for a commitment of this kind.They’ve been together for two-and-a-half years.
Nate, 30, gives the ultimatum to Lauren, 26. They both want to get married, but he desperately wants kids and she’s certain she doesn’t. They’ve been together for two-and-a-half years.
Colby, 25, gives the ultimatum to Madlyn, 24. He wants to get married and have kids with her, and she doesn’t seem to be into him. At all. They've been together a year-and-a-half.
Do you see what the problem here is? All of these people are in their twenties, and the longest relationships haven’t even gone past three years. The Ultimatum, with earnest hosts Nick and Vanessa Lachey, tries to explain to the participants, and us, that this bizarre experiment is not only emotionally healthy for everyone involved, but is some sort of unique social experiment that these “seriously invested couples” need to go through. “The Ultimatum is about you as a person, and God willing, finding that other person. Whether it’s the person you came with, or the person that you meet here,” says Vanessa Lachey. This isn’t a rare opportunity—this is literally you telling a friend, “Hey, so the person I’m with wants to take this to the next level and I’m not sure if I want to, so I want to take a break from this relationship,” and your friend saying, “Yes friend, and I am here for you in this difficult time, by taking you to a party with lots of single people so you can see if you’re attracted to them. If you are, and your previous partner doesn’t come to mind, then your relationship has run its course. If not, yeah you should get back with them and see if you want to stay with them.”
This is Rae. She said this after saying she’s perfect wife material because she cooks, cleans, and knows how to fuck. She thinks this is all she has to offer. I am crying.
The Ultimatum doesn’t ever ask the participants to stop and question why they’re having doubts. It creates an insecurity within their minds that if their relationship doesn’t end in marriage, then they’ve essentially wasted their time—like dating itself isn’t worth anything if it doesn’t end in marriage, and the only way they are worth anything is if their partner puts a ring on their finger.
As the episodes go on, it becomes increasingly clear that no one knows what they’re doing. I’m not sure if the participants understood exactly what they’d have to do, but episode three is when everyone has to pick someone, except the person they came with to, live with in their first trial marriage. Hunter and Alexis refuse to pick anyone else, and Hunter proposes because he realises he loves his girlfriend and doesn’t want to date or trial-marry any of the others—a totally normal reaction to have. Then, as Colby talks about wanting to choose Lauren, her partner, Nate, starts to sweat. Without waiting to let Colby finish, he rushes up to Lauren and proposes, saying he’s realised that he doesn’t care that she doesn’t want kids, he just wants to be with her. That’s wonderful, but how the hell did he come to that conclusion? I assure you I’m not the only one asking that question—everyone asks, and Nate can’t answer. And Lauren, who is being pressured constantly by her boyfriend of two-and-a-half years to have kids, doesn’t see anything wrong with his sudden change of heart. I would’ve saved a lot of money spent on therapy and alcohol and chocolate if I could have revelations like this. I want whatever drugs Nate is on.
April, on the other hand, is not having it and storms off after making a tearful speech about Nate’s “fake-ass proposal,” and cries a little more about the fact that she “wasted this whole week.” It’s a little hard to understand why she’s so angry about Nate proposing to Lauren, two people she met a week ago, and then it becomes clear—she’s mad because she wanted to trial-marry Hunter and/or Nate, and now both are off the market, so all this time she invested in getting to know a guy who could potentially marry her and give her children is wasted. She’s 23 years old, and she genuinely believes that dating, if it doesn’t end in marriage, is a waste. She’s 23. Everyone on this show is acting like they watched one episode of Bridgerton and decided if they’re courting someone or being courted by someone, it has to end in a proposal, or else they’re ruined.
Host Nick Lachey, who is on some other magical concoction of drugs of his own, spends ages telling the participants how he understands their “fear of commitment,” but that it’s time to “get your shit together” and “settle down,” as if the pinnacle of maturity is marriage—because the 25-year-old who says they needs to be financially secure before he takes responsibility for a child and a spouse is somehow being irresponsible? Or is the woman who is refusing to have kids she doesn’t want being selfish because her only purpose in life is to have children? Is the mature option to just do what your partner wants without taking into consideration your own needs and requirements? The Ultimatum, as long as you choose marriage, believes it is.
Once this episode is done, the rest of the show is, for reality television standards, pretty boring. All the new couples discover in their trial marriages that this new person they’re with doesn’t seem to annoy them as much as their real partner does. Let me explain why. When you’re in a new relationship, everything about your new partner seems cute and funny and hunky-dory. Being with someone for two years means you’ve smelled their stinkiest farts, kissed them with disgusting breath, listened to them whine about their annoying colleague 15 times—but that person you just started seeing? They haven’t. So of course, they “check all your boxes”. It’s a good opportunity to see what you’re getting from the other person that you’re probably not getting from your current partner, and see if you can work it out. Jumping into marriage? Worst thing. And spoiler alert—the most toxic couple not only learnt nothing, they ended up married and pregnant. Madlyn tells Colby straight up, to his face, that their relationship would not work—he continuously gaslights her into believing he cheated on Madlyn for her sake, to “make it real” for her. He’s a pompous little shit, who will continue to be an asshole to Madlyn for however long they’re together, and who thinks nothing wrong with doing that to her in front of her friends. A man has to be seriously clueless to do that in front of a woman’s female friends, and Colby did it—and Madlyn still married him. I want to say something mean, but I’ll just say good luck.
The Ultimatum was never a good premise for a show. Sometimes, relationships end. Sometimes, in a relationship, there are no villains—it ends just because things just didn’t work out. It’s sad, and watching that play out in real life, doesn’t make for compelling television. All I hope is that once the director yelled “Cut,” someone walked up to every single participant, and handed them some ice cream and gave them a hug.
Shows mentioned:
The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On- Netflix ⭐
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